Reply and leave your answers/comments, and I'll reply back and then you can go and post this in your journal and have some fun to....

DO THIS NOW:

• Who are you?
• Are we friends?
• When and how did we meet?
• Would you kiss me? Where?
• Give me a nickname and explain why?
• Describe me in one word.
• What was your first impression of me?
• Do you still think the same?
• What reminds you of me?
• If you could give me anything what would it be?
• How well do you know me?
• Would you ever meet up with me?
• Are you going to put this on your journal and see what i say about you?

This Is sort of a continuation from Throw It Away, This is

A New Day Dawns.

 

But when I wake and a new day dawns

And I realise I’m not so alone

I won’t be so self absorbed

And for that I must atone

 

There is still much I can accomplish

Still the music must continue to play

The stories must still be written

To be told another day

 

Remember to hope, Remember to dream

And nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Cause the sun will shine clear and bright

Showing the future in positive Light

 

I picked up my guitar for the first time (other than to move it out of the way) for the first time in easily two months. It felt good; it reminded me who I am.

 

I am John William Baker. Musician, songwriter, poet, story teller, and best of all, friend to more than I know!

 

In my blind depression I could not see past the end of my nose, and forgot about everyone but myself. To those I scared with my last post, I'm sorry. I guess I just need a good slapping once in a while to make me realise all is not as bad as it seems.

 

I am John William Baker, and I must not forget it. To forget who I am and loose my identity will lead me down that dark path again, Lost in the darkness.

 

I am John William Baker and no one else, if you don’t like it don’t look. I am me, no one else, and I’m not going to change it for anyone, because then I’ll be someone I’m not.

 

Thank you all for your support. *hugs*

What do I have to show for my life, 23 years of existence and what have I accomplished, nothing, what am I going to accomplish, nothing in the near foreseeable future. Who would even notice I'm gone if I threw myself in front of the train on Monday morning. Apart from my family, I doubt anyone would, maybe Leah. Maybe I should do it, or at least something that won't inconvenience people. I grow tired of existence, and of simply existing maybe I should end it.

 

Pain and torment self inflicted

From a love with no commitment

Cut so deep that my soul bleeds

Awaiting death and its sweet release

 

The final sleep with no dreams

Eternal slumber with no wake

Releases my soul in to the ether

Where my limbo awaits

 

To wander the planes of limbo

Free from the mortal pain

The emptiness for which I yearn

Could only one sleep away

 

Standing on the beach, the waves lap at my feet

I move in further, the waves at my knees

I lie down in the water; let it carry me out to sea

To wash away the troubles; blow them away on the breeze

 

Thrown back on the shore, water at my feet
I look back out to sea, then upon the beach
I never really moved, never went away

Troubles in my heart and mind seem to have stayed

Do I try again, or just grin and bare it
Do I try again, or cop it on the chin
Do I try again, or go about my day
As if nothing ever happened, and let it stay that way

 

 

This is a strange and kind of creepy little poem I had kicking around in my head after listening to a coulpe of song, the albums they are off will be shown below. Anyway, here it is.

Welcome to my nightmare.

Welcome to my nightmare,

Where nothing is as it seems.

My most beautiful nightmare,

Where laughter hides the screams!

 

The beautiful elf maiden,

With flowers in her hair.

Is really the wicked vampiress,

Killing without care.

 

The pretty ladies singing

Sweetly on the shore,

Lure us all out to sea

To be seen never more.

 

The cute little fey folk,

Who make their homes in the trees.

Dance and sing, play and scheme,

Then will kill you as they please.

 

Through the broken looking glass

Nothing is as it seems.

So welcome to my nightmare,

Where the laughter hides the screams!

Written for Vierna. After a fight with Asmodeus, she ended up in a comatose state.  After being incommune with her Goddess, she got lost coming back. but the love of her husband guided her home.

 

I'm Only Sleeping.

 

Wake me lover, I’m only sleeping

The land of the dead is far away

But I need your love to open my eyes

And chase the darkness from my life

 

Hold me lover, I’m only sleeping

In commune with the Goddess above

But I need your love to guide me back

Along the untrodden path

 

Kiss me lover I’m only sleeping

I need to feel the warmth of your love

It is cold and dark here with out you

I need you to bring me to life.

 

*******************

 

Vierna lay sleeping, her retainers gently massaging her arms and legs keeping the circulation going and trying to reduce the muscle degradation, she had not moved on her own since being brought back from hell. The acolytes had begun to worry; perhaps she was lost in the dreamscape and could not return, or in an extended conversation with the Goddess, finishing up the daily routine they left her again, exiting the room as Stelam entered.

Kneeling beside the bed he clasped her slender delicate hand in his large, callous hardened hands, “Please, come back to me my love.” He whispered, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. He brushed some of her stray platinum blonde hair behind her elegantly pointed ear, he gave a half hearted smile looking at her sleeping form, peaceful yet still somewhat distressed, it didn’t look like the permanent slumber of death, but still Stelam wished for her to wake up.

Stelam had spent hours a day like this, patiently waiting by her side, or trying to rouse her from the unnatural sleep, even more time since being assigned this almost suicidal mission. Finally Stelam stood up; he looked sadly down at Vierna before turning for the door, reaching the doorway he heard a soft moan. Stelam almost dismissed it as his imagination when a second moan; almost a mumble came from behind him. He turned around to see Vierna’s eyelids flutter and open completely.

“Stelam.” Vierna mumbled softly, trying to push herself up.

Stelam had returned to kneeling at her bedside, his heart leapt for joy as he saw life in his wife’s eyes again, he was so happy he almost cried, her crimson lips curled up in a faint but pleasant and loving smile, which finally brought a tear to his eye.

Vierna squeezed his hand, “I could feel you with me, I could feel your love, and it gave strength walking the path to find the Goddess.” She said faintly.

Stelam could not contain the emotion any longer, “I’m go glad you back with me.” He cried, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. “I’ve been so worried.”

Vierna reached up to kiss him, it had been months since she felt his loving lips Kissing hers, and just as long since she had been held in his strong loving arms. “Please hold me, my prince.” She asked.

Stelam stooped down and drew her into a loving embrace, holding her to his chest, he had her back and that was all that mattered, nothing was more important to him than his Wife and children.

 

I said I was going to update this thing every day, no matter how boring or mundane, but that went by the wayside week one, gee I'm not very good at this resolution thing, maybe, I shall just update it weekly and give you a week in review, at least then you get all the boring details in one hit and over an done with, I may also put in snippits of my writing.

Well anyway, I will be going to the Gym 3 days a week. I plan on geting somewhat fitter, hopefully.

Also I finally got my story all sorted out. Starting with Exile.

Stelam has gained too much power for the senates liking, with whispers of a revolt on the wind, the senate frame the very influential Stelam with treason Making him the patsy for their own paranoid egos. Instead of executing him and making him a martyr to their imagined revolution, they exile him, disgracing his family and discrediting him.

With help from his brother he ends up across the sea, to make a new life for himself, he signs on with a Mercinary company where he gains the attention of the young princess Vierna who becomes enthrawled with him as she hears stories about his skills and bravery. Proving his loyalty over time, he is taken on as the palace weapons master, training the royal guards, at which point the princess taking a more secret romantic interest in him. Eventualy he is put into service for the Royal family with the assassination of their son and several other high ranking officers on the front lines.

After the conflict He comes back and gets married to the Vierna, Queen Chalithra is striken with grief at the death of her son and eldest daughter during the war and dies of a broken heart, Vierna and benelux give up their carefree lifestyles and settle down, Vierna with her new husband, and Benelux on the throne. The Corination of Benelux ends book one.

Book 2 is champion of the crown. The Life of leasure does not agree with Stelam, he becomes restless with his placid lifestyle, with the prompting of Vierna, Benelux sends Stelam to one of the most important Garrisons in the country to take over command from the questionable Rhistel Vaul. Stelam must survive the conflict within from the angry Rhistel Vaul to survive the raging goln hoard intent on their smash and grab run. Can he keep it all together or has the faith of Vierna and Benelux been misplaced.

Book 3 is the Rehviedro Revolution after many years of bitter resentment, fighting for a lie for over one hundred years, he decides it is time to return home, and do for real what the senate accused him of. Banding together with the four other noble families that had too felt the brunt of the Senates paranoia, their fear of elemental power and psionics. He will unite the elements to return power to the people.

I then have a second series in mind that will involve Stelam's brother Rh'vaurek, that will take place around the same time as Stelam's exile. Retiring from the army after Stelam's exile Rh'vaurek decides to do some exploring, two Islands in off the coast of Rehviedro have always captivated his imagination, long ago they use to be colonies of Rehviedro, mentions of these islands now cause many citizens to make warding gestures to make sure the fate of these islands does not aflict them too. Fighting strange beasts, making stranger allies, Rh'vaurek makes his own way in a world where he no loner has the shadow of his elder brother.

By the time I finish I hope to have a couple of series that might be able to be published, and be able to work on more, from there, I then have two places to set stories, Vierna's country, and Stelam's, I have a whole heap of Jolanthus stories that could be done, maybe a few with Ael, and there is 120 years of Stelam's history before exile that can be explored, I have an entire world to explore, it is an exciting prospect. Now all I have to do is Piece it together and write it.